amarie24: (Surprised Tiana)
Note: I been wanting to say this for a while, now. And yes, I am hopelessly laughing.

Under my Blackout Day picture this time...I done stopped saying, "Hey, if you have any selfies, please share them in the comments!"

And y'know why? 'Cause almost ain't nobody ever share their selfies for Blackout Day in my comments.

And y'know why that is? Because so, so many of ya'll are white.

Whitey McWhite. Midwest White. Drink-Milk-Everyday-White. Cheese-Sandwich-White.

Ya'll can either get a tan in the sun or you outright burn in the sun. Hell, ya'll'd probably get sunburn from just the phone's camera flash if you tried to participate in Blackout Day.

So, so, so, so many of my blogging friends are white. Be it Dreamwdith, Ana Mardoll's Ramblings, or Shakesville...ya'll are all so white. I love and appreciate every last one of ya'll, but Jesus Christ. I've had this blog since 2011 and been hanging out at Ana Mardoll's since about 2008, but...how did it ever get to this point? My goodness.

I have a party over on Tumblr on Blackout Days, but I ain't got next to nobody over here to do Blackout Day with. My god.

Ain't nobody to do Blackout Day selfies with me over here. Ya'll are all so white.

-lolsob-

-still, truly laughing helplessly-

Happy Blackout Day!

Wednesday, December 7th, 2016 03:46 pm
amarie24: (Default)


Ahh, finally at the end of the semester and I worked my hardest yet! Time for a much-needed break, hanging out with Mommy, putting up the Christmas tree for Dante...

And write, write, write, write!!!

May everyone have a safe, warm, and happy holiday this season! :D

This Made Me Cry

Thursday, November 24th, 2016 09:36 pm
amarie24: (Default)
This 2016 Thanksgiving Publix commercial that's featuring a black family made me cry. You'll notice of course that Publix has the comments for the video disabled.

A black family with members that are varying shades of brown; in particular, there are dark-skinned women all over. A black family where one of the black women appears to have (purple?) dyed hair. A black family where the men help with the dishes, help with setting and clearing the table. A black family where one of the men comically notes that there's no more room in the refrigerator for dishes that require chilling (the theme is "One more"/"We need more"). A black family where they help each other tie aprons to start cooking. A black family where they give each other taste tests for cooking dishes.

A black family where there are children who are clearly having fun, clearly enjoying themselves. A black family where a young black girl child is seen having tender moments with her grandmother reading and relaxing after the dinner. A black family where one of the young black boys comically notes that they need more rolls.

A black family where they hug and kiss and smile as they enthusiastically greet each other.

A black family where everyone is just...happy. Safe. Laid back.

And the background music is soft and comforting and the lighting matches so.

And I need to stress: I am not crying out of sadness.

I am not sad.

I am crying because this video has hit me right in the feelings of being touched with a bittersweet sensation that is so bitter it bites the back of my throat and so sweet it warms the very center of my heart.

For me personally, it's just...it's so, so very easy to forget that the conception and identity of blackness does not and should not be rooted in constant suffering and struggle. It's especially easy to forget that after this presidential election and after this whole terrible year in general.

Blackness can and should also mean being safe. Being happy. Being accepted. Being fulfilled. Being human.

I forget that this is what blackness often means for me, too. I too, am capable of feeling this way, though I wish to feel it much, much more often in the future and I am striving for that future each and every day. I really needed this video; I really needed this reminder.

I hope that everyone has a happy, happy Thanksgiving. I know this video helped to make mine happy.


--Amarie
amarie24: (doctor claire temple)
Ooohh boy, if I manage to get into the program come August 2017, it's gon' be a ride for sure. To give just a glimpse of some of the things we'll be doing as registered nursing students: APA-formatted essays and twelve (yes, 12) hour clinicals starting at 6:30AM...often all in the same week.

But Imma do it. Imma get in it and Imma get through it.

My mother did it before me as a licensed practical nursing students years ago. She did it as a thirty-mumble widowed mother of two girls that also had a part-time job. And she got through it and she's genuinely one of the best nurses I know personally and, though I never thought that I would, I am immeasurably proud to be following in her footsteps years and years later.

I noticed, though, that of all the girls in my anatomy class that came to the orientation...there were only two of my white girl classmates that I recognized. Now, okay, it was an orientation that was scheduled bright and early at 8:00 in the morning on Thanksgiving break (Happy Bird Week!), but...heh.

The main thing that made me happy, though, is that it looks like most of my nursing teachers will be black women!!! Hell, the chairman of the whole nursing program is a black man that's very sweet and is a BAMF retired critical care nurse. The head under that is a black woman and she will be our first teacher for the first semester. Holy shit, am I happy!!!

And there were a hell of a lotta other black women students in the room!! Two of them sat behind me and holy shit, they were pretty and another two sat beside me. Gah, how wonderful! Then one of them that sat way, way in the back had a such a huge fuckin' afro that I swear I could see a halo around her head! It was like fellow sisters! My salvation! My oasis! Black women, ya'll better surround me in this nursing program!!!

-flops against computer chair-

Ahhh, today was most certainly alright.
amarie24: (Default)
Trigger warning: food

Pictures and customary Amarie squeeing below. )

Something Funny

Monday, November 14th, 2016 03:38 pm
amarie24: (doctor claire temple)
I still thankfully have straight A's in my anatomy lecture & lab and my teacher, Mrs. A, is simply wonderful. I regret being unable to attend school on November 9th for obvious reasons because, while I don't enjoy most of my white ass, stank ass classmates, I do adore my Mrs. A.

But there are some times when I don't understand a certain concept. It happened again today and the funny thing is found in my external reaction vs. my internal reaction. Observe:

Mrs. A: -teaches about our 8th cervical nerve (known as C8) and why exactly we have seven cervical vertebrae, but eight cervical nerves-

Me, externally: -raises my hand and politely asks Mrs. A to explain that again-

Me, internally: I HAZ A CONUFUZION!!!!! A CONFUZION, I SAY! AND IT MUST BE VANQUISHED! HELP ME, MRS. A! HELP ME!!!

Mrs. A: -warmly smiles at me and just as warmly explains yet again-

Me, externally: Thank you, Mrs. A!

Me, internally: TAKE THAT, CONFUZION!!!



--Amarie
amarie24: (Default)
I don't quite have a whole lotta spoons to talk much right now, but...here is a petition from Change.org.

It's a huge, huge petition for the Electoral College, which officially meets to cast their votes on December 19th, to officially elect Hillary Clinton as President of the United States of America. It is a petition for the Electoral College to abide by the people's wishes (Hillary Clinton won our popular vote fair and square), even if it goes against their particular state. You'll see at just a glance that it's already quickly nearing 3 million signatures from supporters and that number is climbing by the minute.

I and a whole lotta other people know it's a long shot. A very, very, very long shot. But the worst thing that can happen is what is already happening.

Ain't nobody got anything left to lose at this point and I, for one, don't have a whole lot of room in my life to lose all hope and stop fighting.

So please, if you can just spare a few minutes of your time, sign this petition and lets see if we can get true hope and justice roaring back to life in this country again. Pretty please with a cherry on top.


--Amarie

How Ya'll Doin'?

Thursday, November 10th, 2016 06:53 pm
amarie24: (Default)
I admit I'm kinda glued to my computer, constantly looking for glimmers of hope and reassurances. I fully admit that I'm still in a bit of denial; I'm still waiting to wake up and see that the white woman won.

I all but don't feel safe to go out in public and, yes, I worry when Mommy goes out to go to work for sure. Thankfully, nothing has happened.

Umm...so time to be positive, yeah? Time to take care of ourselves, huh? I got shit to study and shit to write; much work to do, no matter what happens.

So how are ya'll doin' in the meantime, hmm?


--Amarie

Well, Then

Wednesday, November 9th, 2016 01:58 am
amarie24: (Sad Tiana)
I am...desolate.

Quite simply desolate.

I've seen posts on my Tumblr dash and elsewhere asserting that this is not the end, we can and should hang in there, we'll keep fighting, we'll protect each other, we'll stay strong.

This is not the end.

We'll keep fighting.

But, it's just...y'know...I kinda, really, truly hoped that we wouldn't have to fight. That maybe just a little, teeny bit of that would be over.

Kinda hoped for some good news tonight. Some very, very, very good news.

'Cause, y'know, good news is good.

Well, then. See if my black woman is ass going to have the spoons to attend school tomorrow with the white fools that are my classmates.

Just see.


--Amarie
amarie24: (Base Tiana)
I got my wittle pink baby eight years ago, for my seventeenth birthday.

Yes, it is eight-years-old.

Amarie is poor.

It has apparently done its last malfunctioning croak. I hook it up to my computer for charging with its old, frayed and faded USB cord (yes, it too, is eight-years-old). iTunes opens up as usual. And then it does this very strange and very infuriating thing for the third (yes, third) where iTunes...doesn't...recognize my iPod and then it seemingly snatches off all of my things from my iPod until it says "0 songs" and...my iPod is empty, even while my library is intact. The last two times this happened, I simply restarted my computer, plugged in my iPod again, and then it fucking fixed it by re-syncing everything back on there...even if a lot of things were out of order (I scroll through using my cover flow).

But now I've tried to do that and now iTunes tells me that it really, really, really doesn't recognize my old baby and that I should restore its settings (i.e, erase everything that I have). And I just...no.

I searched all over Google before I gave up and then I called Apple support and, yes, I was braced to hear the fuckers tell me that I'll just need to buy a new one because Capitalism Says Fuck You. Hell, when they had me put my serial number in before the call, the system didn't even recognize it.

That is how old my iPod is.

Now, it was kinda cool being on hold for 20 minutes because they let me choose what music to listen to and I chose classical, which I put on speaker to free up my hands. The 20 minutes end and a really nice guy comes on the line to help. Yeah, he's really sweet and really nice, but he otherwise can't help other than to tell me to check that my version of iTunes is updated (it is) and, well...yeah, it looks like my iPod is just too freakin' old. He admitted that there are even people with brand-new-spankin' iPhones that have this problem and he really, truly hates having to tell people that just need to replace their devices.

So there's no help.

I switch from...sad to angry to numb and, well...numb again.

Yes, I've wanted a new, better iPod for years, but I just...it just...

We do not have iPod money right now. We do not.

We do not.

I cannot even.

Oh my god, unless I can find some other kind of help, my iPod is apparently dead.
amarie24: (Default)
Have ya'll heard of the YouTube series "As Told By Emoji"? They do all kinds of fantastic, adorable interpretations of popular movies through, well...emojis, teehee! They're absolutely wonderful and adorable and I think, if I'm not mistaken, that I shared their Star Wars: The Force Awakens one a good while ago.

And now I come across their interpretation of The Nightmare Before Christmas, a classic favorite! And just during Halloween, too! I thought I'd share it so we can all enjoy the scary-spooky holiday!

I then found their Disney's Beauty and the Beast one and holy fucking shit, it has my number. It has my number for sure. They have my number. Beauty and the Beast is my absolute favorite fairy tale and the Disney version has always been my favorite incarnation of it, hands down. Gah, 'tis wonderful!!! I almost want to forgo my studying just to watch it over and over again!

But alas, at least I know it exists and I can watch it later on when I have more time.

So hope you all have fun and enjoy! See you soon!


--Amarie
amarie24: (Default)
Mark it in your calendars , loves! Mark it in your calendars! Imma probably do something Christmas-themed. -SQUEE!!-



--Amarie
amarie24: (Default)
You made your third straight 97 in the lecture class for the semester. And you teacher still be giving you those smiles.

And then your Mommy treats you to Captain D's afterward.

Ahhh, what a good feeling.



--Amarie

In Lighter News!

Thursday, October 20th, 2016 05:45 am
amarie24: (Surprised Tiana)
Ya'll remember that cute, cute, smexxy guy in my class with the gorgeous twists? Well, in yesterday's class, before Mrs. A came in to give us our test? I caught his eye from across the class, smiled at him, and he smiled and waved at me!!!

He waved at me! OMFG!!!

Can you believe it?!

...And then I just smiled wider and went back to reviewing my notes. 'Cause I'm chicken.

But when I got in the car with Mommy after the test and I told her, she went, "Well, why don't you say more than five words to him? Why don't you even ask him his name? Just say, 'hey, we have a class together, but I don't know your name and you don't know mine. So hi there, I'm Amarie.' Why don't you just say that?"

Mother. I am shy. I am nerdy. I am geeky. And I am probably way, way too young for him.

Plus men are trash. Alas, I and a great many other women have been deeply disappointed over and over again to find men far and wide (whether we ourselves are interested or not) to be either just not stepping up to the plate at best (i.e, what are dishes? what is laundry?) or to be outright abusive at worst.

This one is surely trash in one or way or another, too.

So best to admire this one from afar.

Yes, I shall admire from afar.

>.>

<.<

But he waved at me!!!!

-falls on my bed and squeals-



--Amarie

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