amarie24: (Default)
amarie24 ([personal profile] amarie24) wrote2017-03-09 07:01 pm
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Conversations: Mommy's Nasty Coffee

Me: -smells something...burning...something burning with a coffee smell-

Mommy: Amarie, honey, d'you want some of this? It smells delicious!

Me: -slowly gets up from computer chair, worried for my Myrtle- What is it? What are you doing?

*Myrtle is the name of my wittle mini coffeepot that I got for Christmas 2 years ago. I named her as such because when she's working, she sounds like "mirrrtle, mirrrtle, mirrt-t-t-le" to me.

Mommy: Making coffee! It's that new strong one that I bought! Come! Have a taste!

Me: -slowly coming into the kitchen, the sheer stench assaulting my sense of smell- Mommy...?

Mommy: -beaming as she pours some of the foul stuff into a mug- Yes, sweetie?

Me: ...What have you put into Myrtle? What have you done? You're burning her-this is burnt.

Mommy: Oh, no, no! This coffee isn't burnt-it's just a really strong roast! The best kind of coffee there is! -proffers her mug to me- Want some?

Me: -retreats into my bedroom and says a prayer for Myrtle- No, thank you! Eew!!!!!

Mommy: -pouts about how her daughter doesn't like shared, burnt coffee-

...Strong roast coffee smells like burnt coffee to your Amarie, dears.


[personal profile] wingedbeast 2017-03-10 12:32 am (UTC)(link)
Regardless of anything you do to coffee, coffee retains its primary flaw. It remains coffee. I don't see what burning does that is any worse than that.

[personal profile] wingedbeast 2017-03-10 12:46 am (UTC)(link)
There's hot chocolate for that. Chocolate that isn't tainted with coffee. Or, if you need caffeine without chocolate, there are other methods.

But, it's coffee. Do you know what the most expensive coffee in the world is? The one that the people who like coffee most like best?

[personal profile] wingedbeast 2017-03-10 01:00 am (UTC)(link)
More like Brazil. And, it undergoes a special roasting process.

You see, there's a wild cat that eats the bean, but cannot digest it. Predators go for the harder to catch animals because they're easier to digest than plants. Because the wild cat doesn't digest it, but gives it an all-natural chemical treatment, when the beans come out, they're the most expensive and beloved coffee in the world.

I'm saying that the people who most like their coffee still think it tastes better as cat-poop.
silveradept: A kodama with a trombone. The trombone is playing music, even though it is held in a rest position (Default)

[personal profile] silveradept 2017-03-12 04:46 pm (UTC)(link)
Ugh, coffee smell. Blech.
lonespark: (Default)

[personal profile] lonespark 2017-03-22 12:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Myrtle! I love it!

(I have become a person who drinks dark roasts. Not the super-extra strong kind that people are like "Jet Fuel! Yeaaahhh!" tho... Not thus far... But then I put flavored creamer in it...)