Something Different Next Year

[amarie24]

Well, actually…lemme talk about this year, first. Specifically, this summer.

See before this summer? It was my spring semester, 2017 and I was taking the last of my science classes: Anatomy & Physiology II, both the lab and lecture and my Microbiology, both the lab and lecture.

I was working my ass off the grindstone to make my A’s so that I could get into the nursing program (Which I did! And this program is rife with delightful b.u.l.l.s.h.i.t, but I digress!). So the hopeful promise of getting into nursing school in the following fall semester was part of what helped me get through my science classes…

But the other part was the promise of having a nice, long nearly-three-months summer vacation to write, write, write. And indeed, I did get to write! Unfortunately, I didn’t get to update my ATLA series like I know a lot of ya’ll wanted, but I did put a good and solid dent in my fanfictions! And that was wonderful and awesome and just…everything I needed. It was a wonderful, restful time for me, yes indeedy.

This coming schoolyear of 2018, though…

I will not get a summer off.

This is my last year of RN/ADN nursing school, and our sorry asses are gonna go straight through. That’s right; we have our spring semester coming up on January 8th, and then they gon’ put our asses still straight through summer semester, and then fall semester lastly. This means that, as a lot of people have comforted me and my classmates, nursing school will go by like a snap.

…But this also means that I will not be afforded the luxury of having a full, free summer to just write.

That is a problem.

Now see, I was pretty happy that I got this Christmas break to write, but 1.) I’ve been so exhausted and had to spend so much time recovering that I haven’t written nearly as much as I wanted to, like not even close to how well I did this summer and 2.) Christmas break is not as long as summer break, so that means…I’ve had less time.

If I can’t write substantially and post new content substantially for about an entire year…ya’ll, that ain’t finna be good for me. I know I already create and post sparsely enough as is, but to completely be shut out from it because of schoolwork for an entire fucking year is just not my cup of tea.

I would deeply and profoundly resent that on an emotional, psychological, and creative level. Like…no. Just no.

I have to write. I must write. It is my little corner of the escapist world that allows me to thrive in this hellscape called reality, y’know? It is. It really is.

-deep breath- And our head teacher, Mrs. W, made it abundantly clear that this coming spring semester is gon’ be Satan’s marathon from start to finish. But!

I know better how to study. That is, I know better how to think like a nurse (or at least…a baby nursing student, pardon me for getting ahead of myself). I know better that I just need to read the shit rather than take notes on material that I can easily grasp, absorb, & retain simply by, well…reading. I know better that when I hear some of my classmates talk of splitting some big ass work amongst a group to turn around ask them if I can tap that shit, too.* I know better just how to work more quickly and more efficiently.

So!

That means that…Imma try to give myself a resolution. A New Year’s Resolution, if you like. And the New Year’s Resolution is this:

Starting spring semester 2018, I Amarie, the Rightful Wife of James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes, shall devote at least an hour and a half/90 minutes of my time two to three days a week to just sit down, push away the homework, and write.

Just an hour and a half/90 minutes. Two to three times a week. Just to push away the homework. And write.

To reward myself and keep up with my progress in maintaining my resolution, I am going to log each time I manage to do the 90 minutes in my phone’s calendar. Like a little green light that’s there to tell me I’m great.

Because 90 minutes is…really not all that much time. And I will be disciplined and not go over the time limit. I will also just go ahead and return to my homework if I run out of writing steam before the 90 minutes are out.

And I will write whatever floats up to the front of the queue that is my mind. Maybe it’ll be a chunk of an ATLA post. Maybe it’ll be a good dent in my Harlem Lights story (lord knows I still write over 10K word chapters in that bad boy). Maybe it’ll be the beginnings of a new story or blog post.

Whatever it is, I will try my best to write it. For 90 minutes.

I don’t know…exactly if this means that I’ll put out more content like this and I don’t know if I’ll even be able to consistently pull this off.

But I have to be able to write. I cannot put it off for an entire year. That’s just…that’s not gonna work.

So Imma try. Imma try so hard.

And if ya’ll got any tips, tricks, encouragements in this endeavor of mine, it’ll be greatly appreciated! Thanks so much!!




*The issue of accepting splitting work up amongst a group was something that I was really, really, really bad about this past fall semester. I admit it. I would just tell myself that I can do it on my own, that I got this.

And I had to have my Inner Mom Voice say, “Amarie. We know that you can do this. We know that you are capable. You would not even be here if you weren’t. But this isn’t about your capabilities-it is about accepting help from more-than-willing classmates in an environment where ya’ll gotta help each other out to survive. It is about lessening your workload at least just a little so you can do that thing called Sleep. So go ahead and put your name down for the fucking group and tap that shit.”

I have to remind myself of that.

And the other reason why I was bad about it this fall semester is just I…still have bad insecurities…that people don’t like me nearly as much as I think and/or as much as I like them, and so I worry that they wouldn’t want me in their group even if I asked first. I gotta get over that, tho. ‘Cause it ain’t true. It just ain’t true.

I gotta tap that shit.

Comments

[alexseanchai]

♥!!!!!

BEST of luck

[amarie24]

Thanks, Alex!! Thanks so much! ^ ^

[smurasaki]

I think that sounds like a great resolution! *\o/*

[amarie24]

-SQUEE!!!- I'm so glad you think so!! :D :D

Thanks so much, Depi! :D

[silveradept]

Good work, so far! And good on you for getting into the group things - ent nobody who works that job alone.

Also good on ya for resolving to write. Here's my piece of advice, gathered from listening to many a panel about breaking into the industry.

Pick a time to write, and even if Satan himself offers you a date with Sebastian Stan, turn him down and write. The most difficult part of writing is establishing the habit.

[amarie24]

Aww, thank you, Silver! Thank you!

Even if Satan himself offers me a date with Sebastian Stan instead? Nyahahahaha! Ohh, that would be the dream, wouldn't it? But yes, I shall have to turn him down indeed and absolutely the most difficult part of writing is establishing the habit, yep, yep.

Thanks so much for the encouraging words! :D

[lonespark]

Look at you and your good, smart, healthy plan!

[amarie24]

Oh, thankies, Lonespark! Thankies! I really, really hope that it'll allow me to put out more work and also lower my stress levels from school! :D :D

[redsixwing]

Ooh! That's a cool resolution. May it be helpful!

[amarie24]

May it be, indeed!!!