So About my Mother and a House
Thursday, March 5th, 2026 05:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
amarie24...The more my mother talks about decorating/fixing up her house...the more and more it hits me that she has always had much, much worse than a Fetish For Home Ownership.
I caught hints of it when she stressed over not having a Perfectly Mowed And Green Lawn for longer than a minute. (And, when I made a face after she stressed it for the nth time, she said, "Amarie, just try to think of your neighbors as guests in your house, huh?"). Hints of it when she wanted repeated wanting a carport over and over again (my mother is an Ad Nauseum person, God bless her). And hints of it again when she yet again stressed over the lawn not being mowed for a while after a few months.
And been caught hints of it ever since I was a child and, if we went over to a friend's neighborhood, she caught that it was a neighborhood full of houses. Literally sitting in the car with a jerk of her head going, "Oh! These are houses! They're homeowners!"
Now, our mailbox is a bit broken and tilted due to recent heavy rainstorms. So we need a new one. It's a need; I understand.
We were driving home from work, and she pointed out some of our neighbors' brick mailboxes with flower boxes on their bases. She wants one specifically with a red ceramic (?) cardinal on top, bc it reminds her of her home Chicago, Illinois.
We finally turned down onto our street and she slowed down before we got to our driveway. She pointed at the other houses' black metal mailboxes and went, "See? I'll be the only one with a brick mailbox! Mine will be really special with tulips and carnations!"
And ever since she bought this house in 2022 (?), she's always repeated, "I just want a nice house, Amarie, where your friends can come over for the or coffee! And they see the dining room and living room and the framed pictures I put up in the hallways and I want them to go, 'Oh! Okay!'"
My mother literally says she wants them to literally go "Oh! Okay!" at house decorations.
She has not quite...listened to me when I tried to tell her that 2 of my friends have already visited, seen the inside of her house, and complimented on it.
Not necessarily "Oh! Okay!", but in their own ways.
Now I see...with that comment about the mailbox, I see...
She's really a living, breathing example to me of how...if you only or even majority want something(s) so you can show off to others/gather others' positive opinions of you...if it's about showing something(s) to others, having things that others don't have...
Can you then wonder why you never quite reach what you're reaching for?
I caught hints of it when she stressed over not having a Perfectly Mowed And Green Lawn for longer than a minute. (And, when I made a face after she stressed it for the nth time, she said, "Amarie, just try to think of your neighbors as guests in your house, huh?"). Hints of it when she wanted repeated wanting a carport over and over again (my mother is an Ad Nauseum person, God bless her). And hints of it again when she yet again stressed over the lawn not being mowed for a while after a few months.
And been caught hints of it ever since I was a child and, if we went over to a friend's neighborhood, she caught that it was a neighborhood full of houses. Literally sitting in the car with a jerk of her head going, "Oh! These are houses! They're homeowners!"
Now, our mailbox is a bit broken and tilted due to recent heavy rainstorms. So we need a new one. It's a need; I understand.
We were driving home from work, and she pointed out some of our neighbors' brick mailboxes with flower boxes on their bases. She wants one specifically with a red ceramic (?) cardinal on top, bc it reminds her of her home Chicago, Illinois.
We finally turned down onto our street and she slowed down before we got to our driveway. She pointed at the other houses' black metal mailboxes and went, "See? I'll be the only one with a brick mailbox! Mine will be really special with tulips and carnations!"
And ever since she bought this house in 2022 (?), she's always repeated, "I just want a nice house, Amarie, where your friends can come over for the or coffee! And they see the dining room and living room and the framed pictures I put up in the hallways and I want them to go, 'Oh! Okay!'"
My mother literally says she wants them to literally go "Oh! Okay!" at house decorations.
She has not quite...listened to me when I tried to tell her that 2 of my friends have already visited, seen the inside of her house, and complimented on it.
Not necessarily "Oh! Okay!", but in their own ways.
Now I see...with that comment about the mailbox, I see...
She's really a living, breathing example to me of how...if you only or even majority want something(s) so you can show off to others/gather others' positive opinions of you...if it's about showing something(s) to others, having things that others don't have...
Can you then wonder why you never quite reach what you're reaching for?
no subject
Date: 2026-03-05 11:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2026-03-05 11:58 pm (UTC)I mean...am I making multiple mountains out of one molehill? Am I being melodramatic? Do ya get what I'm saying? Somebody tell me...
no subject
Date: 2026-03-06 01:44 am (UTC)