Funny Story Featuring My Mom!
Monday, January 25th, 2016 03:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
amarie24Oh, I forgot to share this one with you all, teehee!
So this happened the night we found out we didn't have to move, just an hour or so after we found that leasing letter, right? Tensions are sloooooowly coming down, stress and fear are simmering and melting its way out of our blood. It keeps ringing through our head: We don't have to move, we don't have to move...good lord in heaven, we don't have to move.
And me, because Amarie Is A Goofball, decided to half-jokingly and half-seriously ask my mom if I could borrow one of her many, many blouses. See, now, while we were in the process of cleaning out our closets and packing shit (thankfully, we hadn't packed too much), I was helping Mom with her closet because it's hard for her to pull and push and tug and lift too much with her back and Amarie Can Be An Amazon. My mom has a boatload of clothes (most of them pastel colored) that she needs and wants to sort through and, while we were talking about that, I noticed two gorgeous blouses that I asked to borrow and she let me. I had to put them in my hamper doe, because they'd been in a space saver bag forever and they smelled like it. One of them is a slinky orange blouse and the other is a pink blouse with an adorable gleaming, pink polka dot collar! I just had to borrow it!
So the blouse that I asked to buy that night is-you guessed it-also pink. It has a cute, teeny opening with a buckle in the front, right where the decolletage is supposed to be. Here's how that conversation went. And mind you, this is how much my mom loves pastel colors:
Me: Hey, Mommy? Can I borrow that other pink blouse?
Mom: -stares blankly at me...and then blinks in confusion at me- Huh? Which one?
Me: -remembers that she has a lot of pink blouses and so that was practically a non-question- Uhh...the pink one with the little opening and buckle in the front
Mom: -takes a minute to remember- Huh...the one with the little opening and buckle...
Me: -nods- Yep, yep!
Mom: -it finally clicks- Oh! Oh sure, honey! But that's not 'pink'. That's 'salmon'.
Me: -immediately stops, as I must now quell strong, sudden laughter and I'm not really succeeding at it- ...Oh, it's 'salmon'...?
Mom: -face becomes dryly unamused- ...Yes, it's salmon. It's a specific shade. And you know what? You can't borrow it now.
Me: -would wail at the injustice, but still too busy laughing-
Ya'll...that's how much pastels that are pink, orange, and sometimes blue populate my mother's wardrobe. That's how many shades of pink she has. Dear god in heaven, it's hilarious.
Salmon.
Nyahahahaha!
And in the meantime? Since all Broadway shows have been cancelled because of the snowstorms (please, everyone stay warm and safe!)? Lin-Manuel Miranda has done his Ham4Ham inside, with the brilliant Leslie Odom Jr. singing Ja-Burr...a combination of the Wait For It melody and lyrics with Star Wars. OMFG, give it a listen and beg Lin to put it on iTunes, dammit!!!!
...What, you didn't think I'd let you forget that I'm out-of-control Hamilton Trash, didja? Didja? :P
-Amarie
So this happened the night we found out we didn't have to move, just an hour or so after we found that leasing letter, right? Tensions are sloooooowly coming down, stress and fear are simmering and melting its way out of our blood. It keeps ringing through our head: We don't have to move, we don't have to move...good lord in heaven, we don't have to move.
And me, because Amarie Is A Goofball, decided to half-jokingly and half-seriously ask my mom if I could borrow one of her many, many blouses. See, now, while we were in the process of cleaning out our closets and packing shit (thankfully, we hadn't packed too much), I was helping Mom with her closet because it's hard for her to pull and push and tug and lift too much with her back and Amarie Can Be An Amazon. My mom has a boatload of clothes (most of them pastel colored) that she needs and wants to sort through and, while we were talking about that, I noticed two gorgeous blouses that I asked to borrow and she let me. I had to put them in my hamper doe, because they'd been in a space saver bag forever and they smelled like it. One of them is a slinky orange blouse and the other is a pink blouse with an adorable gleaming, pink polka dot collar! I just had to borrow it!
So the blouse that I asked to buy that night is-you guessed it-also pink. It has a cute, teeny opening with a buckle in the front, right where the decolletage is supposed to be. Here's how that conversation went. And mind you, this is how much my mom loves pastel colors:
Me: Hey, Mommy? Can I borrow that other pink blouse?
Mom: -stares blankly at me...and then blinks in confusion at me- Huh? Which one?
Me: -remembers that she has a lot of pink blouses and so that was practically a non-question- Uhh...the pink one with the little opening and buckle in the front
Mom: -takes a minute to remember- Huh...the one with the little opening and buckle...
Me: -nods- Yep, yep!
Mom: -it finally clicks- Oh! Oh sure, honey! But that's not 'pink'. That's 'salmon'.
Me: -immediately stops, as I must now quell strong, sudden laughter and I'm not really succeeding at it- ...Oh, it's 'salmon'...?
Mom: -face becomes dryly unamused- ...Yes, it's salmon. It's a specific shade. And you know what? You can't borrow it now.
Me: -would wail at the injustice, but still too busy laughing-
Ya'll...that's how much pastels that are pink, orange, and sometimes blue populate my mother's wardrobe. That's how many shades of pink she has. Dear god in heaven, it's hilarious.
Salmon.
Nyahahahaha!
And in the meantime? Since all Broadway shows have been cancelled because of the snowstorms (please, everyone stay warm and safe!)? Lin-Manuel Miranda has done his Ham4Ham inside, with the brilliant Leslie Odom Jr. singing Ja-Burr...a combination of the Wait For It melody and lyrics with Star Wars. OMFG, give it a listen and beg Lin to put it on iTunes, dammit!!!!
...What, you didn't think I'd let you forget that I'm out-of-control Hamilton Trash, didja? Didja? :P
-Amarie
no subject
Date: 2016-01-27 06:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-01-28 02:57 am (UTC)-giggle, giggle, gigglesnort- :D :D :D