I Can’t Believe I’m Talking About Star Wars Again

[amarie24]

Possible Major Spoiler Warnings



Okay, first things first? Gotta emphasize this disclaimer: I am not a Star Wars person. Or a sci-fi person in general. At all. Whatsoever.

But! Red and I were talking in my celebratory Star Wars thread a while ago and we got into talking about Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker. Specifically, we got to talking about how if Darth Vader could’ve just stayed his ass at the house being a househusband to Senator Padmé and a stay-at-home dad to Leia and Luke, he wouldn’t have gone on the Sith path. Nope, nope!

…This is how much of a sentimental dork I am.

I think of one of white pop culture’s paragons for evil, find out that he has twins and a wife when I research a bit…and I daydream about him being a househusband and stay-at-home dad with my friends.

This is your blog mistress, dears. Pay attention. Pay close, close attention.

Hell, I even had a conversation with another friend about how Darth Vader could heat the bathwater for Leia and Luke before their bedtime. I…naively suggested that he could use his lightsaber, since it’s hot. But she kindly informed me (and I was reading its Wikipedia page at the same time) that that is not a good idea. Because, see, lightsabers are lasers so hot that they cauterize wounds as they cut.

Yikes! They are not bath water-heating material!

So on a side note…does anyone have any idea of how Darth Vader could heat up Leia and Luke’s bath water before their bedtime? I’ve looked into the Force, but outside of moving, levitating, fighting and mind controlling, I don’t see anything could be used to heat up bath water for little kids! Do any of you have ideas besides, uhh…just adjusting the hot water knob, LOL?

…He could use his lightsaber to cook Padmé some dinner, right? I mean, that could be faster than a stove and Padmé is a senator that has some very, very long, tiring days at the office and she’d need dinner immediately.

…Right?

-ahem- Moving on.

But, it turns out that I’m not the only sentimental dork thinking of Darth Vader raising his kids! Everyone, please say hello to Mr. Jeffrey Brown’s work, which I am thrilled to have found! He has written children’s books that humorously show what life would be like if Darth Vader had been taking care of Leia and Luke from the beginning. Here is Vader’s Little Princess, which focuses on him and little Leia. Then we have Darth Vader and Son, which focuses on him and little Luke. And finally, there is Goodnight Darth Vader, which shows poor Darth Vader trying to get his wittle rambunctious twins to go to sleep.

Ahhhh, this is everything I never knew I wanted out of Star Wars! I don’t have any money for books right now, but I absolutely love everything I’ve seen in the samples. Red and I were talking about searching-and sadly not finding or having the time to produce ourselves-some fanfiction featuring daddy!Darth Vader. But now I find out that someone has actually published books on it and it’s just oh-so wonderful! –SQUEEE!!!!-

Now for the spoiler alert!!!

So this fascinating gem came across my dash earlier this morning. It’s quite mind-blowing because it’s a fan that speculates that…Jar Jar is Supreme Leader Snoke! Who, like, is the baddest of the baddest of the baddest of the baddest of all Dark Sith Lords? Like, not even that ugly pasty ass Darth Insidious/Palpatine tops him! OMFG, I read through it and I thought it was so incredible that I just had to share! Hell, I even heard of the thrilling Twitter response to this fan meta from a Mr. Ahmed Best, who I understand was the actor to motion capture Jar Jar originally?

What do you all think about this? This sounds so cool!!!

/Also still on what Darth Vader would use to heat up the bath water and cook Padmé’s dinner. I mean…he’s a Force-using guy, isn’t he? Surely there’s something cooler than just a stove or a hot water knob…

Comments

[amarie24]

...Wow. Yikes.

That pretty much just makes Star Wars sound like the Jedi & Sith are locked in a very, very unhappy marriage. But they're co-dependent on each other and only one of them pays the bills...so they have to stay together. Meanwhile, everyone else-innocent civilians, storm-troopers-that-can't-aim, and even whole planets-are caught in the middle.

And, hell, it ain't even a custody battle.

-wipes tear-

[wingedbeast]

It's part of why I think the Sith tend to be more caricature than character. They're set up so that they define *themselves* as evil... really? Who does that? Who does that and does so openly?

The movies (I don't know about the books) are blatant Jedi propaganda I tells ya!

[redsixwing]

I think you nailed it.


I got together with Star today, who's a huge SW fan, so I mentioned this thread. Star points out that back on Tython, which (EU/Legacy, of course) is the place Force-users originally came from - the sides were called Ashla and Bogan, and people who used one more than the other were considered to be out of balance, and needed to check themselves before they wrecked themselves. (And everything else, as it turns out.)

So: yeah. =/

[wingedbeast]

And, that would be great for the movies, too.

A "source" of the original Force philosophy. If not a recovery of the original philosophy, a building of a new philosophy-of-balance.

The question is do we trust Abrams to explore the *ahem* dark side of the Jedi way?